


And Hell is just a Sauna

by oswiin



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Fusion, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:22:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21953623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswiin/pseuds/oswiin
Summary: Popular, pretty Betty Cooper is in dilemma. A family rule forbids her from dating until her unpopular, rebellious, boy-hating friend and housemate Veronica Lodge gets a suitor of her own. In an attempt to win Betty, Archie Andrews, the boy-next-door, desperately attempts to set Veronica up with Jughead Jones, another rebel whom may just be able to win Veronica's heart.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper, Jughead Jones/Veronica Lodge
Comments: 34
Kudos: 57





	1. The Deal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Jeronica Nation](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Jeronica+Nation).



> For the wonderful @ladyinrosso, my Secret Santa!   
> I hope you like it! <3

“I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls,” Veronica stated, a triumphant smile on her face. Miss Grundy, the young, bespectacled guidance counsellor, was less impressed. It seemed like she spent every day in this office, listening to Grundy write her grotesquely erotic ‘novel’, if it could even be called that, and praying for death.

Miss Grundy peered over her frames at the spirited socialite and did her best to be civil, “You see, Miss Lodge, people perceive you as somewhat…” 

She struggled to find the right word, which did not bode well for her book at all.

“Tempestuous?” Veronica filled in for her. 

That was wishful thinking. After she’d broken a few noses, Veronica’s reputation as the most dateable girl at Riverdale High was quickly revoked. Chuck Clayton once claimed he gave her a ‘sticky maple’, and he swiftly regretted it. Betty wrote a chilling expose on the entire football team, Chuck received a swift kick where it really hurt, and guys started avoiding Veronica Lodge like the plague.

“Heinous bitch is the term used most often,” Miss Grundy continued. Veronica had to admit that made her proud. Grundy furrowed her brows, trying, and failing, to guess what she was thinking. “It’s time to get your act together, Miss Lodge. I don’t want to see you here again.” With a noncommittal shrug, Veronica left Grundy to her smut. 

As Veronica sauntered through the halls, students parted like the Red Sea to let her through. She looked around at the wary faces and suddenly felt very alone; she could practically see the stone wall between her and them. Even the redheaded anti-Christ, Cheryl Blossom, averted her eyes. 

Veronica stopped at her locker and removed some notebooks for her next class. For no particular reason at all, she looked to her left and saw Jughead Jones leaning against the plaster, staring at her. She furrowed her brows but couldn’t look away; she tried to discern what his expression meant, but, as usual, he was unreadable. The spell was broken when Betty bounded up to her, beaming as usual.

“Hey, V. You ready to go?” she asked. Veronica looked at her, then back at Jughead, but he was already walking away. She swallowed her disappointment and gave Betty a weak nod.

They stepped out into the parking lot, arm in arm as always. They strolled across the parking lot, avoiding Kevin on his scooter and Archie as he struggled with the busted gears on his dad’s truck, towards Veronica’s black 1957 Corvette. This car was her most prized possession. Given to her by her dad for her 16th birthday, she had never gotten a scratch on it, and the paint job still looked as good as new.

Before they could head home, however, Reggie pulled up in front of them, sunglasses on and arm hanging out the side window. 

“Hey, Betty. Why don’t you hop in? Go for a drive?” he winked at her, flashing his brilliantly white teeth. Veronica rolled her dark eyes. Betty was grinning like a schoolgirl. 

“No, thank you,” Veronica interjected, with her usual level of veiled contempt, i.e. no veil whatsoever. “We’re going home. It’s not like she could fit, anyway. Isn’t your ego taking up the rest of the seats?” 

She tugged on Betty’s arm and almost had to drag her to the car.

“Come on, V,” she whined, those wide, doe eyes doing their best to appeal to Veronica’s better nature as she was being pulled along by her wrist. “Reggie’s not that bad. You know he promised to take me to Homecoming?” 

“Trust me: he _is_ that bad,” Veronica assured her. Betty pulled away from her, forcing Veronica to stop and face her. “Anyway, aren’t you forgetting something? Hal Cooper’s number one rule?”

Now, it was Betty’s turn to roll her eyes.

Hal Cooper loved rules. He had a rule for everything, and the people around him knew those rules weren’t to be broken under any circumstances. His most concrete rule was made after his daughter, Polly, broke the ‘no sex’ rule and got pregnant. From then on, the youngest, Betty, had to tighten her blonde ponytail and suffer under even stricter conditions: no dating until graduation. Period.

Then Veronica Lodge moved into the Cooper household, and Alice and Hal couldn’t have loved her more.

It turns out, breaking boys’ noses for completely justifiable reasons was one way to get into the Coopers’ good books.

* * *

When they arrived home after school this particular day, Betty was in a mood. She had Archie, Reggie, practically the whole football team begging to take her out, and she felt like the only girl on the planet who wasn’t allowed to date. When she brought it up to Hal, he reminded her that Veronica was more than happy to abide by the house rules.

“Every guy at that school is an unwashed miscreant with a serious ego problem,” Veronica complained. Betty rolled her eyes, knowing this could be the start of another endless tirade of contempt. “We’re all better off without them.” Hal nodded his approval, whilst Betty was sent into another one of her moods.

“This is ridiculous!” she complained, her iconic ponytail practically spinning 360 degrees. “I’m not going to Homecoming without a date! Mom!”

“Oh, your mother won’t help you in this, Betty” Hal warned. A distant shout from the kitchen that sounded a lot like ‘listen to your father!’ upset the blonde even more. 

Before the girls’ bickering escalated any further, Hal decided to step in: “Okay, here’s how we solve this. Old rule out. New rule: Betty can date…”

Hal held an agonising pause, raising Betty’s hopes and Veronica’s eyebrows at the same time. “When Veronica does.” 

All of a sudden, Betty looked like she might burst. “But Veronica’s standards are too high. What if she never dates?” Betty glared at Veronica, who now wore the smile of someone who never intended to.

“Then _you’ll_ never date. Oh, I like that,” Hal grinned. Betty’s pleas were falling on deaf ears, and Hal was much too pleased with himself. “And I’ll be able to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughter, and friends’ daughter, aren’t out getting pregnant!”

Without any more angry words on the matter, Hal left for the Register and Betty stormed upstairs, slamming doors as she went. Veronica sighed, picked up a magazine and lay down across the sofa, prepared to enjoy the rest of her afternoon. Alice emerged from the kitchen, pumpkin pie in hand, and a face ready for lecturing.

“I smelled the Blossom girl on Betty’s clothes. Do I need to burn more sage?”

* * *

 _Bad Reputation_ blasted through Jughead’s headphones, drowning out the rest of the world as he struggled to write. The words were in his head, but they refused to materialise on the page, and no amount of music or cigarettes were going to help. It was a relief when Archie Andrews dropped down opposite him, an apprehensive smile on his face. Jughead closed his laptop slowly, a curious grin spread over his lips. 

“Well, well, well,” he began, taking the cigarette from behind his ear and sticking it between his teeth. “What can I do for you, Andrews? Any road trips that need ruining?”

Archie’s face fell a little at that, “Oh, come on, man. You’re not still mad about that are you?” 

Jughead planned on torturing him a little, but the genuine concern on his face made Jughead drop the act, “No, of course not.” He lit the cigarette and drew in a long breath. “What’s up?”

“I need a favour. You know Betty Cooper?” Everyone knew Betty Cooper. It was a surprise when she made friends with Cheryl, the resident Regina George stereotype of Riverdale High, but it didn’t take long for her popularity to increase. That made it much harder for her, Jughead and Archie to remain close friends. “I wanna take her out, but Mr. Cooper has this new rule. He’s saying that Betty can’t date until Veronica does.”

Archie waited anxiously for his response. Jughead leaned back and regarded his friend with cool, disbelieving eyes. “And what? You want me to take out Ronnie, or die trying? From what I’ve seen, it’ll most likely be the latter.”

Archie had been expecting that, but he was desperate, and Jughead’s stubbornness had nothing on his crush on Betty Cooper. “Please, Jug. Reggie will make it worth your while.”

Jughead’s eyebrows raised themselves at that. “Reggie’s in on this? You can’t be serious.” He blew the smoke in Archie’s face. The redhead coughed a little and glared at his friend, but Jughead quickly laughed it off.

“Reggie thinks he’s gonna be taking out Betty,” Archie muttered, suddenly embarrassed by the ridiculousness of his plan. Still, it was the only one he had. Jughead was laughing, cigarette between his fingers, beanie almost falling off his mop of black hair.

“Oh, Archie. Archie, Archie, Archie,” he laughed, like a parent with his delinquent toddler. “You’ve really screwed the pooch on this one, haven’t you?” Archie blushed under his friend’s stare, and Jughead, once again, took pity on him. “We’re friends Arch, so I’ll do this solid for you.”

Jughead watched Archie’s entire face brighten like a filament bulb. 

“I’ve always been curious about the Pembrooke Princess. But,” he warned, “you better be the one taking Betty to Homecoming, okay? And I will need to be compensated very well. You can tell Reggie that, alright?”

“No need. You can tell him yourself.” Jughead followed Archie’s gaze and found Reggie Mantle, and all his bravado, swaggering towards the diner. “Thanks, Jug. I really owe you one.” 

He clapped Jughead on the back and almost sprinted away, passing Reggie as he did. The black-haired football star dropped down opposite Jughead, a serious look on his face, possibly for the first time in his life.

“Mantle.”

“Jones,” he replied. “We have business to discuss.”


	2. The Speakeasy

Jughead entered Pop’s Diner, but didn’t take up his usual booth. He made a beeline for the back of the building instead, dialled 642 on the retro telephone box, and delivered the password to Kevin on the other side of the door. 

The scene he entered was straight out of a movie: the Pussycats were onstage, singing Donna Summers and undulating to the rhythm. His dad, F.P. Jones, was behind the bar, serving the odd bit of liquor to his favourites, mocktails to everyone else. Dozens of people, highschoolers and older, congregated at tables and on the dancefloor, turning the tiny speakeasy into a thriving business. 

In the throng, he spotted Veronica. She was hard to miss, in a floor length purple gown that shimmered and brought out her eyes. Jughead couldn't help but smile as he watched her let loose as Toni, Fangs and Sweetpea danced with her. Her association with his Serpent friends was the one deviation from her tough, upper-class persona, and it was refreshing to see her so... sweaty.

Jughead sat down at the bar and let F.P. pour him a drink in silence. Veronica swiftly appeared beside him, shouting over the music for some water and promising F.P. that his cheque will arrive tomorrow. She saw Jughead and scowled, ready to remind him that this was a private club, and _he_ wasn’t invited. Jughead was too quick for her, however, catching her out by yelling, “Do you mind? You're kinda ruining this for me.”

Veronica stared at him for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened. For once, she actually smiled, seemingly in spite of herself. F.P. watched the pair with cool interest, not quite believing he was watching these two _not_ fighting. “You know, these guys are no Bikini Kill or The Raincoats, but they’re not bad,” Jughead remarked casually, before taking his whiskey and disappearing into the crowd, leaving Veronica to follow after him.

“You know who The Raincoats are?”

“Why, don’t you?” Jughead was enjoying this, perhaps too much. He kept his eyes on the Pussycats. Melody had her eyes closed, really feeling the vibrations of the music, and Josie’s voice rang out through the club, getting higher and higher as they neared the end. Valerie was beaming as she played the final chord on her keyboard. “I was watching you out there before, I’ve never seen you look so sexy!”

Everyone turned to stare and giggle, and Jughead’s face flushed with embarrassment. Veronica snorted, and Jughead decided he liked the way she laughed. He smirked at her and decided to push his luck a little bit further. “Come to Moose’s party with me.”

“You never give up, do you?” Veronica asked, shaking her head in amused exasperation. Melody and Valerie took up a new song, filling the room with their upbeat music.

“Was that a yes?” he asked. Veronica pretended to debate it in her head and shouted back a “no” as she sauntered back into the throng. “Well, then, was that a no?!” Veronica looked back at him for a moment, a scrutinising look in her eye. For a moment, Jughead feared an outright rejection.

Over her shoulder, she yelled, “No!” 

Jughead beamed and bit his lip at the same time, excited and nervous all at once. He watched her hand a bottle to Fangs and go back to dancing. Toni caught his eye and raised her eyebrows questioningly. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to his drink. He knew he’d drank too quickly when the tears began pricking at his eyes.

* * *

Betty and Cheryl tiptoed down the stairs, past Hal in his armchair reading a newspaper, and made for the door.

“Should’ve used the window,” he called, turning on them with false kindness in his voice. Alice appeared in the living room doorway, a much more piercing glare on her face. “Where are we going?”

Betty bristled and tried to hide the scowl that was creeping across her features. Betty didn’t think for a second that she’d fool him but she gave her excuse anyways, “If you must know, Dad, it’s a small study group with friends.” 

Hal’s arched eyebrows almost spoke for themselves, “Is that another name for an orgy?” Alice rolled her eyes and ‘tsked’ behind him.

“Mr. Cooper, it’s just a party.” Cheryl’s naturally dry tone did not improve the parents’ mood, and Alice’s gaze rivalled even Cheryl’s piercing frown. 

“And hell is just a sauna,” she retorted, her curled blonde hair framing that stern face of hers. Veronica skipped down the stairs, unaware of the mess she was walking into. “Veronica, sweetie, do you know anything about a party?” 

Veronica shrugged her shoulders and feigned ignorance. But Betty was more observant than that. She noticed the red shine to her lips, her hair had been brushed until it was glossy, and, instead of her usual skirts and heels, she wore one of the few pairs of jeans she hadn’t torn. Betty continued her protest, but Alice was deaf to it. She put her foot down, “If Veronica’s not going, you’re not going.”

Veronica turned, her hair whipping around her neck. “Oh, but I am going.” Hal and Alice’s faces fell, and Betty looked as if she might jump for joy. Cheryl gave the former socialite a knowing smirk. Betty hugged her so tightly Veronica thought she might burst.

The three girls were about to leave, when Alice urged her husband to stop them at the door, “Alright. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing…” Hal’s list seemed to go on forever. Veronica took it all in with a reassuring smile. “No tattoos, no piercings, no ritual animal slaughters of any kind…”

“Hal, stop, you’re giving them ideas,” Alice chastised as she tugged on his arm and pulled him away. 

Veronica opened the door, at last, to find Jughead on her doorstep. It was a rare occasion that he didn’t have his beanie, and Veronica saw that his hair was less greasy than she thought. Instead, she saw a mop of black hair, handsomely messy and effortlessly fluffy. She bit her lip and wondered what it would be like to run her hands through it.

Jughead caught her staring, and bit his lip in kind, a look of victory on his features. She rolled her eyes walked past him to the car.


	3. The Party

When Jughead and Veronica arrived at Moose Mason’s house, though mansion might have been more appropriate, the party was in full swing and the front lawn looked like a disaster zone. The house was bustling with people, ‘Mr Brightside’ was playing over the stereo, and Veronica looked like she’d rather be anywhere else.

Jughead was following her around like a dog, and she prayed for him to give up this hopeless exercise. Unfortunately, as soon as she managed to shake him off, she bumped into Reggie Mantle.

“Hey, V, looking good,” he sneered, winking at her like the sleazy car salesman that he would surely grow up to be. Veronica tried to extract herself, but Reggie was persistent and constantly blocked her path. “Whoah, slow down, Veronica. Is Betty here?”

Veronica glared at him from beneath her perfect lashes. “Stay away from Betty,” she warned.

“Oh, I will,” Reggie promised, “but I can’t be sure she’ll stay away from me.” He stalked off, leaving a seething Veronica standing in the middle of the living room. The party raged on around her, but she was in no mood. 

She noticed a half-empty bottle of vodka on the mantelpiece, and remembered she was always in the mood for _that_. Two shots in and Jughead finally caught up to her, worry and frustration etched on his face.

“Hey, Ronnie,” he said, “where’d you go?” She kept drinking, ignoring his questions as best she could. His brow furrowed, and he had to wrestle the bottle from her hands. “Okay, I think you’ve had enough.” He hated chastising her, but she was acting like a child, pouting and making faces at him.

“Leave me alone, Jug,” she whined, reaching for the bottle again, “you’re not my dad.” He was too quick for her, ensuring he kept the alcohol far out of reach.

“Well, it seems like someone has to be.” As soon as he said it, he knew he had messed up. She went quiet, scarily quiet. Her anger was all in the eyes. Those dark, intoxicating eyes. He didn’t bother trying to apologise; nothing he said at that moment would’ve worked. She stormed off, and Jughead was left wondering what he did wrong to earn him this punishment.

When Archie tugged on his sleeve, complaining about Betty spending her whole night with Reggie, Jughead briefly hoped for some act of a God that didn’t exist to end his suffering.

When it didn’t come, he swallowed his pride and did what he could to reassure an old friend. Turns out, Archie was easy to encourage. He just needed reminding that he and Betty had been in love since they were kids, and if she was worth it, he had to make sure she knew that.

Veronica, as always, was more of a challenge. He had turned away for a second, and all of a sudden she was dancing on a table before a crowd of leering football players. He tried to get her down, but she wasn’t having any of it. He had to admit, she was a very good dancer, but everything else about this made him uncomfortable.

Eventually, that act of god he was searching for came in the form of a chandelier. Veronica hit her head, badly, and fell into Jughead’s arms. He bore her away from the crowds and loud music, out into the crisp night air.

Veronica stumbled her way across the grass, and Jughead tried to keep her upright. Despite her drunken state, she still never missed an opportunity to argue.

"Why are you doing this?" She tumbled to the grass. Jughead grabbed her waist to stop her from hitting the ground. 

"I told you," he sighed. Dealing with a drunk Veronica Lodge was turning out to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done. "You might have a concussion."

She snorted as they continued to the porch swings. Veronica was slurring her words, but still articulate enough to say, “You don’t care if I never wake up.” 

“Sure, I do,” Jughead shot back as he sat her down on one of the swings. Her hair was truly messy and tangled from the dancing, and her breath reeked of alcohol. Still, she managed to be beautiful.

Veronica narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. “Why?” She rocked back and forth on the wooden seat; the booze combined with a head injury made her calmer than usual.

“Well, because then I’d have to start taking out girls who actually like me,” Jughead snarked at her.

She snorted again, and Jughead decided that he _really_ liked the way she laughed. “Like you could find one.” Jughead shook his head in disbelief. Even in such a rough state, she was still as sharp as ever.

“Ooh, see? That, there,” Jughead took her hands in his. He convinced himself it was to stop her falling back off the swing, but he knew there was something more to it. “Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?”

They sat side-by-side for a moment, swinging back and forth in contented silence. “So, why’d you let Reggie get to you like that?” Veronica groaned and leaned her head against the rope.

“Ugh. He started going on about my parents.” She fell silent, clearly not in the mood to elaborate, but Jughead was a born investigator.

“What about your parents?” When Jughead still didn’t receive an answer, he looked over and realised Veronica had started to drift off. He was sent into panic mode, and frantically shook her,“No, no, no, no. Ronnie, look at me! Listen to me, Veronica, open your eyes!” 

Her eyes fluttered open, and he calmed down for a moment. She stared up at him, open-mouthed and curious. “Hey," she began, as if she had just come to a realisation. "You're not wearing that stupid hat right now,” she muttered, and that made Jughead laugh. He was less amused when she vomited all over his shoes.

Jughead drove her home, mostly in silence. He was happy to let her sober up a little. When they pulled up outside the Cooper house, Veronica turned in her seat to scrutinise him with dark eyes.

“You know, you’re not so bad, Jones,” she admitted. Apparently the alcohol made her less cruel, but Jughead loved it even when she was.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he reciprocated, “Lodge.” She giggled at that, and Jughead couldn’t help but join in. Once the laughter subsided, her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned closer to him. He watched, wide-eyed, as a drunk Veronica Lodge attempted to kiss him. _Him_.

He turned away from her. Something about kissing a girl so drunk she just threw up all over him didn’t seem right. When Veronica opened her eyes and realised he was rejecting her, she left him without a word. That’s how he knew she was truly angry.


	4. The Song

Jughead sat on the bleachers, watching Veronica practice with the River Vixens, brooding and wondering why he hadn’t kissed her back. Why had he let her slam the car door and walk away?

Archie sat across from him, shaking his head in disappointment. “What have you done, Jug?” Jughead was in no mood to discuss it, but Archie couldn’t let his disappointment go. “The plan was working!”

“Why do you care?” he shot back. “I thought you wanted out.” There had been no end to Archie’s whining the night before, bemoaning the hopelessness of his situation with Betty. Now, though, he was grinning like an idiot.

“Yeah, I did,” he began, trying to hide the blush creeping across his cheeks, “until she kissed me.” Jughead smiled back in spite of himself. Archie was still his best friend after all.

“Where?” Jughead asked, hoping for just a little more detail.

“In the car.” Archie seemed extremely proud of himself, but Jughead’s smile left him; that was definitely _not_ what he meant.

Well, at least Archie’s night had gone well, but his one piece of action made him feel qualified to offer advice on the Lodge girl. “Look, you screwed up, ok? When we dated, I was always screwing up one way or another.” The thought of Archie and Veronica dating somehow didn’t make Jughead feel better. “Just give her a day to cool off and try again.”

Jughead nodded uncertainly, but looked across the field and noticed Veronica glaring at him, drawing a line across her throat for emphasis. Toni was with her, shaking her head at him in disapproval. Jughead turned to Archie, “Maybe a few days.” The redhead nodded, just as Kevin approached, satchel slung over his shoulder. 

“So, I just talked to Fangs...” Archie raised his eyebrows suggestively, but Kevin shrugged him off, “’Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns' is a direct quote, I believe.” Jughead buried his head in his hands.

“I am screwed,” he groaned, feeling defeated for the first time in his life. This girl was draining the life out of him. 

“Look, man, you embarrassed her.” Archie placed a hand on his arm. “That's the thing Veronica hates most. You gotta level the playing field.” Jughead's eyes flitted to the raven-haired princess in her shorts and trainers, a pom-pom in each hand, her hair tied back. “So, do what you do best,” Archie continued, “embarrass yourself.”

He could tell Archie was very proud of his little joke, and Jughead made his own lack of pride all too clear. “Oh, yeah, like you're so smooth Mr. ‘I can’t take a single step without tripping over air.’” 

Jughead let them laugh, whilst he turned his attention back to _her_. His gaze travelled up, over her perfect legs, those shorts and the white top. The Serpent found himself wondering what was underneath them; who was she under all that? There were cracks in her persona for sure, but he had barely just scratched the surface.

Jughead realised Archie was right, for once. He needed to embarrass himself, and it needed to be big. Veronica Lodge was not the type of girl to accept an equal return. She would demand payment _with_ interest. 

One quick bribe to the Marching Band Leader, and perhaps the biggest mistake of his life was set in motion. 

* * *

­­­Interference cut through the speakers as the P.A. system was switched on, forcing everyone on the field to briefly block it out. Veronica was sandwiched between Cheryl and Toni, watching the Vixens attempt a pyramid; they were already on their fifth try, and they just seemed to be getting worse.

“You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you…” A throaty, but not unpleasant voice cut through on the speakers, drawing everyone’s attention. The pyramid collapsed, but Cheryl did not chastise them with her usual vigour. She was listening. “You’d be like heaven to touch… I wanna hold you so much…”

Football players resting on the grass and other students eating lunch on the bleachers all turned their heads upwards as the song continued. 

“At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I’m alive.” 

Veronica could feel Cheryl’s burning stare on her back, but she tried to ignore it. She closed her eyes and prayed it wasn’t who she thought it was, yet a little part of her hoped that it was. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Jughead Jones appeared above them on the bleachers, microphone in hand. For once he wasn’t wearing that stupid, dirty beanie of his as he slid down the flagpole, singing all the while. He was grinning like an idiot, and soon, Veronica was too.

“You’re just too good to be true,” Jughead’s voice was actually very nice, and he hit every note practically perfectly. He stared down at her, and Veronica had to keep herself from blushing. “Can’t take my eyes off of you.” 

When he pointed at her, Veronica flashed with anger for singling her out in front of everyone. And without warning,the marching band took up the roaring tune, and she could barely contain her laughter. They marched in formation across the grass, and Jughead truly began to live his corny, popstar fantasy. His dancing was terrible, but enthusiastic, and at least Toni and Ronnie seemed to enjoy it.

“I love you baby! And if it’s quite alright, I need you baby, to warm the lonely night. I love you baby. Trust in me when I say…” Jughead skipped down the steps, singing his serpent heart out, eyes never leaving Veronica’s. She blushed a little, making Jughead’s smirk even wider, making him even more confident than he already was as he danced across the bleachers. “Oh, pretty baby, don’t bring me down, I pray! Oh, pretty baby, now that I’ve found you stay. Oh, let me love you, baby. Let me love you!”

Veronica watched as security converged on him, but Jughead didn’t seem to care. They lifted him by his scruffy jean jacket and began to cart him away. The marching band was still playing, so when the guards tripped, Jughead made a daring escape and continued skipping across the dais. The entire cheerleading team, bar Cheryl, were applauding and laughing at him.

He mocked them endlessly, music still booming across the open space. Veronica never knew Jughead was so playful, but she liked him even more because of it.


	5. The River

When Jughead left school, having served an adequate detention sentence, he was greeted by a most welcome sight: Veronica, wrapped in furs, lounging against the hood of her car. She looked effortlessly cool, with a small smirk playing on her lips, and snowflakes sticking to her eyelashes.

Jughead's cheeks were red, his breath visible, and he suddenly regretted the choice of his Serpent jacket, which did nothing to keep out the creeping fingers of the cold. Veronica's ruddy cheeks matched her lips and made her look cute, radiant. He was certain he looked like a clown. She smiled as he approached, and held up a dirty, grey hat with pins, cut in the shape of a crown. Jughead beamed when he saw it and placed it back on his head, where it should be, whilst muttering a thousand ‘thank you’s'.

“Well, Jones,” she began, “how was detention?”

Jughead shrugged. “Eh, it sucked,” he licked his lips and glanced at hers. “But it was worth it.” Veronica cocked an eyebrow, but he knew she had enjoyed his little performance. Otherwise, why would she be here?

“I’m glad it’s over,” she said, standing to open the driver door of her car, “cause we have somewhere to be.” She grabbed some gloves and a scarf out of the car and tossed them to Jughead. Ever the sportsman, he dropped both in the snow.

“What? Where?”

“It’s a surprise.” Once again, Veronica’ eyes were laughing at some joke that only she was apart of. Jughead was frozen, unsure what part he was playing in this jest of hers. Oftentimes, he felt like the punchline. Veronica slipped into the driver’s seat and turned the ignition, then noticed Jughead had not moved. “Jones don’t just stand there. Come on, crap or get off the pot.”

He snapped himself out of it and sprinted to the passenger door, slipping on ice as he did. That made Veronica laugh, so at least his embarrassment counted for something. Once he closed the car door behind him, Veronica sped off down the road, away from school and all those expectations, towards whatever terrifying surprise she had in store.

* * *

Jughead stared at the frozen surface of Sweetwater River open-mouthed, extremely concerned about where this was going. When he looked to Veronica for answers, she held up two pairs of ice-skates with a smirk. Jughead backed away, his hands raised in surrender.

“No way,” he protested, “we are not skating on the river. Do you even know how?”

Veronica turned sheepish, refusing to meet his eyes. “I wanted to. Do you know how many skating rinks there are in New York? Dozens.” Jughead could tell this conversation was making her vulnerable, and he suddenly felt bad for ruining her good mood. “But my mom and dad were never around to take me. I thought, maybe, you could teach me.”

Jughead couldn’t count the number of reasons that this was a bad idea, but Veronica’s pleading gaze was almost enough to convince him. “And what would you have done if I didn’t know how to skate?” It was a weak effort at discouragement, but he thought he might as well try.

“Well, then,” Veronica sighed, “we would’ve gone skating, but neither of us would have enjoyed it very much.” Once again, she could always make him smile.

Once they had strapped their skates on – Veronica needed a little help with hers – Jughead stood on the ice and held out a hand for her. He was confident and unwavering on the ice. Jughead Jones knew his way around a pair of skates. There was a pond on the South Side that F.P. and the other adult Serpents used to take all the kids out to every time it froze over. Almost every winter, for 10 years. Veronica was in safe hands.

Veronica took the outstretched, gloved hand gladly, and quickly needed to grasp the other as she struggled to find her footing. He pulled her further out, away from the safety of the snowy bank. Veronica’s eyes were fixed on her own feet, she held his wrists in an iron grip, and Jughead could sense the giddy terror she was feeling.

“You okay?” Veronica nodded, but she absolutely wasn’t. Jughead couldn’t help but chuckle; he had never seen her so nervous and undone. It was refreshing. She glared at him for laughing, and he did his best to keep his mouth shut. “Okay, you’re doing well.”

He guided her across the ice, drawing beautiful patterns with their blades. Veronica laughed like a schoolgirl the more they moved, and Jughead grew bold enough to try a twirl, which ended disastrously. She tripped and he caught her in his surprisingly strong arms. After an awkward, charged moment, they readjusted themselves and got back to skating.

“You ready to try by yourself?” Veronica shook her head, but Jughead knew she could do this. She was Veronica Lodge, she could do anything. Tentatively, Jughead extracted himself from Veronica and her sharp nails. She wobbled for a moment, but soon found her balance as he knew she would. She was breathless with laughter, astonished that she was doing it. Jughead laughed with her, watching her clumsy but adorable dance across the ice.

Laughter turned anxious shouts as Veronica lost control and went careening across the frozen waters. Jughead followed closely after. She tumbled onto the bank on the Greendale side, the thick blanket of snow breaking her fall. Jughead caught up, but he tripped over the snow, landing face down at Veronica's side. That made her roar with laughter, so at least he was amusing to her.

Jughead propped himself up on his elbow, worry etched on his features. “Veronica, are you --?” She cut him off by placing her hand, encased in a wool mitten, over his mouth.

“Shhh. Don’t ruin it by speaking.” Once Jughead held his hands up and made it clear he would obey, she lifted her hand and beamed at him. They were still for a moment, regaining their breath, until Veronica accosted him with a snowball, eliciting a shocked giggle from both of them.

Jughead wiped the snow from his eyes. Most of it went in his hair, speckling his black hair with tiny, white stars. He gave Veronica a scandalised look but couldn’t hold it for too long. Instead, he wrapped her in his arms, shielding her briefly from the freezing weather.

Jughead leaned in, brushing her ruby nose with his own. He leaned in and kissed her, soft but eager. Jughead’s lips were warm whilst Veronica’s were like ice, so she welcomed the heat he offered. Veronica’s manicured hands went instinctively up to his hair and around his neck, sending shivers through Jughead’s body at the touch. He pulled away suddenly, unsure, but Veronica followed after him, pressing her lips against his once again.

Jughead closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, biting her bottom lip, which seemed to make her smile. She wrapped one leg around his, mindful of the blade attached to her foot, and Jughead tightened his embrace.

They lay there, surrounded by snow and ice, but the cold just couldn’t seem to reach them.


	6. The Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long, but you know how life is. Anyway, I am finally finishing my secret santa for the lovely @ladyinrosso so i hope you all enjoy. I know it earlier chapters I mentioned homecoming, but that seemed too soon, plus with this break I thought I'd incorporate a break in the story. Let's just assume homecoming happened and no-one went. I hope you guys enjoy!

Veronica spent the winter break in low spirits, listening to Betty go on and on about Archie, no Reggie, no Archie again. Her dilemmas about boys seemed to be the only thing on her mind, whereas Veronica felt her time would be best spent studying, or buying Christmas presents, which once again fell on her shoulders. She loved Betty, but the girl did not make it easy for her.

Christmas with the Coopers was always a novelty experience. Alice taught the girls her famous recipes, though only Veronica really listened as Betty and Polly had heard all of this before, and decorating the house became Hal’s main focus, surpassing even his duties at the newspaper.

This year though, Veronica barely paid attention to what went on around her, zoning out as they opened presents and watched classic Christmas movies. Something weighed on her mind, and she couldn't seem to shake the memory, no matter how hard she focused on other things.

Before they parted for winter break, she had gone ice-skating with Jughead Jones, but the day hadn’t ended there. 

_After they kissed in the snow, making Veronica feel giddy and cliche at the same time, she drove them back to town through a flurry, straining to see through the weather and the darkness that was quickly enveloping them. Jughead didn’t make it any easier, as he spent the entire journey touching her arm and kissing her neck, making her giggle as she tried to concentrate._

_As soon as they parked the car, their lips crashed together and Veronica felt a rush of excitement she had never had before, not even with Archie. Jughead was feverish, but still managed to be a good kisser, running his callused hands up her arms, giving her goosebumps even through her coat. Before long, she had to physically push him away, so they could both get out of the car._

_They were both unable to break their lips apart as they stumbled up to the door, both feeling giddy and dazed at the same time. Veronica fumbled with the keys as Jughead returned to kissing her neck, encircling her waist with his arms and doing all he could to claim her lips with his once again. They crashed through the door of the Cooper’s home, and hers, and Veronica managed to quiet him at last whilst she made sure her surrogate parents weren’t still up._

_The house was dark and silent, with only the sounds of their heavy breathing permeating the air. Veronica creeped through to the kitchen, then the living room, then returned to Jughead who still waited awkwardly in the hall._

_“I think they’re still at work,” she said, grinning shyly up at him in a manner that she was thoroughly unused to. Veronica was not an innocent school-girl, like Betty, and Jughead certainly wouldn’t have been her first time, so why had she felt so… nervous? “They’ve got a morning issue to publish.” Her words were thick with possibility, and she prayed Jughead would not be dense for once and seize it._

_Thankfully, he did._

_“So…” he began, a mischievous smile playing on his face, “are you gonna invite me in or what?” Veronica cocked an eyebrow and smiled. She would never get tired of the challenge that was Jughead Jones._

_“Shoes and coat,” she stated, regaining some of her authority as she instructed him to leave them at the door. He held his hands up and did as he was told, shrugging off his damp coat and snow-coated boots to leave at the door. Veronica did the same before offering her hand. He stared at it for a moment, then ran his fingers nervously through his hair, dislodging his ever-present grey beanie. At last, he took her outstretched hand and let himself be led through the house and up the stairs, abandoning his beanie there in the hall._

_Veronica was teasing him, Jughead knew, but he found he didn’t care. They tiptoed across the landing, past two doors that, by their girlish decoration, clearly belonged to Betty and Polly, and another that must have belonged to Alice and Hal, before Veronica pushed open a plain, white door at the end. Jughead briefly wondered where the other girls were, then assumed Polly was out partying, as always, and Betty might be with Archie. The thought made him smile as the door to Veronica’s room closed behind them._

_Her room, like the rest of the house, was completely dark, until she turned on a dim lamp, illuminating some of her bedroom. Her bed was made - of course it was - with plain covers. In fact, her whole room was plain, which is not what Jughead expected from the New York socialite. Yet, somehow, it seemed just perfect for her._

_When he looked back at Veronica, she was gazing up at him, biting her lip, and she suddenly seemed nervous. Her eyes were on fire, her hair still damp from melted snow, and Jughead took the moment of silence and anticipation to contemplate what he was doing. He had Reggie’s money burning a hole in his pocket, and here he was, standing in the bedroom of the girl he was paid to date. The guilt and shame he felt was overwhelming, not least as he just agreed to take her to whatever dance their school was hosting now. He knew that had to end, he knew it had never been about the money, not truly. But how would that help him now?_

_Veronica’s hand entwined with his and all rational thought fled him. She stood on her toes and kissed him again. Jughead jerked back involuntarily, but she persisted, pressing her mouth against his once again. It was enough to spur him into action._

_His hands went to her waist and to cup the back of her head, deepening the kiss as their awkward, passionate movements backed them further into the room. Her knees hit the end of her bed, causing them to buckle and making them both collapse onto the covers._

_That sent Veronica into a fit of giggles, which didn’t discourage Jughead from exploring her neck and collarbone with his mouth, and her giggles quickly transformed into moans. His hands travelled further down as hers tangled themselves in his thick, soft hair._

_Jughead broke away to move further down the bed, running his hands over her clothed legs before kneeling back and fiddling with the button on her jeans. Veronica watched him lazily as he tugged the jeans down, exposing her smooth skin to his wandering fingers. He positioned himself between her legs and started kissing up her thigh. A pleasurable sigh escaped Veronica’s lips, followed by some light giggles._

_“That tickles,” she joked, and something about her voice seemed to jerk Jughead out of the trance he was in. He opened his eyes and stepped back, his mind reeling with everything he had done wrong. Veronica was staring at him, he realised, confusion etched on her face, and all he could think about was the money Reggie was still giving him. It made him ache to look at her, her glossy, raven hair a disheveled, beautiful mess._

_“What’s wrong, Jughead?” she asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious in her exposed state. “Have you not… done this before?”_

_“No, no, I have, I swear,” he stuttered, for some deep-seated, testosterone-filled part of him needed her to know that, “it’s not that, I…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words without admitting what he had done. “I just… I think we should take things slow. I really like you, Veronica. I don’t wanna screw this up.” And that was the truth._

_Veronica shook her head in disappointment. Not the reaction he was expecting._

_“What is up with you?” she asked, sounding almost angry at him for not sleeping with her. “You’re acting so… hot and cold. First you don’t even speak to me, then you won’t stop until I go out with you, then you won’t kiss me, and then you serenade me in front of the whole school. Now this.” She sighed, with frustration this time, and Jughead found, for once, that he had nothing to say. “What am I to you? Some conquest to lead on and humiliate? Is there some bet because I won’t date, is that it?”_

_“No, no, of course not,” he tried to reassure her, but Jughead realised that nothing he said would mean anything. He had screwed up before, but this… this might just be it._

_“Then what, Jughead?” she implored, as tears built up in her eyes. “What am I to you?” He sheepishly fell silent. Veronica shook her head, and her expression was that of contempt and disappointment. “Everyone at school avoids me like the plague. I thought you were different. Guess I was wrong.”_

_Jughead saw no way of rectifying the situation, not then. “I should go,” he said, secretly hoping she would tell him not to._

_“Yeah, you should,” she said, and Jughead should have known. Veronica Lodge could not be vulnerable for long. It was not in her nature. So, he left. And Veronica spent the rest of the night trying not to cry._

_“Veronica? Sweetie?”_

Alice’s voice dragged her out of the bottomless pit of thoughts that swirled around Veronica’s head. _It’s A Wonderful Life_ was playing on the tv, with George Bailey running through town proclaiming his love for Christmas, though Veronica could not say she felt the same. Hal, Betty and Polly were watching intently, but Alice was standing by the tree, holding out a rectangular, poorly wrapped present.

“We must have missed one,” Alice said. “It’s for you, dear.” She offered the present again, and Veronica took it from her. When she sat back down, she checked the tag to see who it could possibly be from, as it certainly wasn’t her parents. _Jughead Jones,_ it said, and Veronica had to swallow her dread for the moment.

The rest of the family seemed uninterested, and Veronica was grateful for it as she tore apart the wrapping paper to get to whatever was underneath. She found something even she did not expect. 

A copy of Shakespeare's _The Taming of the Shrew_ , bound in threadbare, but authentic coverings, and a note: _Dear Veronica, sorry for being an idiot. Again. I'm sorry things ended the way they did. I'm sorry it ended at all. Merry Christmas. Jughead._

And Veronica had that sinking feeling that she was the one who had been a complete and total idiot. And she knew she had to fix it.


End file.
